PSA: Servers

I worked as a server at an awesome wine bar in NYC in Rockefeller Center. It was super fun and I really enjoyed it. Worked with super fun people and drank lots of wine together, ate good food together, and continue to see them all every summer at the lake! Always having $cash money$  in the wallet was also super awesome. So let me just say, I get some of the ins and outs of the service industry.

So, fast forward 2.5 years...David and I went out to dinner a few nights ago and a strange server thing happened that I think only happens in the south. The server touched David--on the shoulder--bordering on his back, for more than 3 seconds. He just like, rested his hand on David. AND this is the second time at this restaurant that this has happened. Maybe he thinks David is nice looking? Maybe he thought David's sweater looked really soft and just HAD to touch it? Most likely is that it's simply a southern thing that I'll go on record and say that I don't like. Is it a southern thing?

Server guy probably didn't even realize he was doing it--it was probably his regular ol' greeting that he thought made him personable and maybe we'd like him more and up his tip. (For the record, if you've ever worked in the service industry, you know to tip 20% all the time...its standard. Unless the service was horrible.)

Back to the other night:

Server--you shouldn't touch anyone-male or female.  Ever. It's weird and uncomfortable. No.

Server--you also shouldn't kneel at the table or ever SIT (!) at my table to tell me what the salad dressing options are or what your favorite dessert is. Don't care.

Server--you should never taste my wine that I send back because it is "corked". (or the food I've sent back). Yes, I've seen people do this!!! Like, "it isn't good? Let me see...(sip)...yep, we'll get you a new glass".

Server--you don't need to announce your name either. I probably won't remember.

Lastly Server-- If you spill on me, don't try to clean it. That goes back to the touching. You can't touch. Ever.

Are David and I the only ones who think these things are weird? Anyone have other no-no's that should go on the list?


  1. Ok, I get it. No touching. But is it ok if they call you "honey?" How about "dear?"

  2. I'd prefer they not, but I'd also prefer not to be called ma'am yet. The south is just too darn polite :)

  3. This happened to me in San Francisco a few weeks ago. I was sitting near the kitchen and a server kept touching my back as if to announce that he was walking by don't get alarmed type of thing. The weird thing wasn't the touching. It was the fact that I wasn't in the way of his path nor did he have that narrow of a space to walk through that he needed to touch me.

  4. Mike, maybe he really liked your shirt? Guess it's not just a southern thing...